Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
