I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
