hotel room ftw
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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