how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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