How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
