I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize