your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
