i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
