what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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