How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
