how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
