Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
