omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
