Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
