I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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