Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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