Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
