hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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