someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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