kristin has been a bad kristin
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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