I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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