Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
