you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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