True but thats because hes a fetus.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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