Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
