i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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