I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
