Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
