Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
