so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
