What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
jump out the window naked night went bad
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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