i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
