when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
