i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
