Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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