if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
