I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So much rum. So many feels.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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