so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
