how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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