What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
