one two three fourrrrnication!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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