i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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