she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
