It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just had sex on a roof
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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