you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its not stalking. its research.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
