it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize