Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
