I wanna passion pit in your ass
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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