I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
