break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
