Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
