First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
