Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
