The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
