this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
