apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
