her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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