he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
