just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize