It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
