Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize