theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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