I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
