another moral hangover. fuck.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
