i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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