that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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