6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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