I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
