Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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