i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
