all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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