Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
