i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
