You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
handjob tips. give me some.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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