ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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