We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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