he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize