I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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