that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
