DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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