Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
