I'm really into asian looking animals
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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