people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
