singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
