Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
