Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
