summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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