I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
