I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
